I felt nauseated when I heard that I was rejected AGAIN. Another colossal heartbreak. I left the hostel the next day and it’s not just the place that I’m leaving. It’s also the busy freaking schedules, disgusting food, and the whole irksome environment. I never thought engineering would be this much onerous.

Travelling in a bus can be ghastly if you don’t get a seat. The bus gets so crowded from inside and you will certainly get some (I really hate to say this, but here it comes) Anal Action. The conductor never cares about any of this and keeps on STUFFING the bus till the bus feels like throwing up. I somehow managed to get a seat after a stop and downloaded game of the week in FIFA 14.

The feel of being in home was enough for me to let go off the failures. And the DIWALI was ON. The Indian TV channels make the most out of Diwali and every channel plan on MAHA EPISODES. This Diwali was no different, and I don’t really like the channels my parents watch.  So I decided to play FIFA 14, full day, in my MOTO G phone. OH emm gee!. The EA sports have made the game in such a way that even if you have one big tummy and can’t walk from hostel to school, you can still feel like you are playing a real football match at the stadium of light. I kept playing till my favorite reality show was on and then stopped playing. Plugged the charger, had dinner and watched TV. When the show was over, I took my phone and (don’t care about the details, just know that) it was fucked up.

Time to panic? Oh yeah!!

“The engineer” part of my brain took over the crisis next day. I pressed the only two buttons on its body, ripped the case open and I don’t know how obscene this may sound, (but again, here it goes) after all that I did to my phone, I realized, repairing can be a perfect euphemism for sex.(bear me, I’m a little pervert). It was exhausted by my way of treating it and finally went to coma.

And then, began the sad epoch of solitude.

No phone calls (*cries* I miss “manly men “ringtone),

No messages (*wipes tears and cries again* I miss explaining my status update to those who don’t get it and I miss telling girls how “cute” they look in their dp)

No notifications (*stops crying* that’s a good thing given that most of them used to be candy crush saga requests)

No gallery (*takes a deep breath* no explanations needed)

And finally No PHONE(*takes his brain out of the skull, chops it into small pieces and puts it back*)

In the century where phones are emerging as virtual life partners, a week without a phone can be a real disaster. Especially for someone who is single, has a twitter account and had just collected the phone number of a really cute girl.

God, I hope you are watching all this. So please give me strength to stay calm until it comes out of service center. Amen.


I just wanna drop dead sometimes. Like for real. Tired of all the plans I do. They have always taken the road of procrastination. It’s easy to judge a man if he is happy or not . look at his face. If he has unhealthy beard , he is surely fucked up. Trust me. Beard represent amount of frustration more then they mirror about a man’s age. All the smiles sometime vanish for no reason. There are times when you know the reasons for your isolation from world. But you won’t do a thing to amend yourself. Life has been tough on me, mean to me. I had never thought about how my actions in the past could totally fuck up my future. One thing that haunts me is the fact that I have never apologized for my mistakes. Now that the time has passed, all I have left to do is sit and regret . 
I have hit the rock bottom

Baffling things

I love kannada. It’s my mother tongue. I’ve written poems, stories. I even have read almost 30 novels. What I miss today is the fluency I had. I would finish novels in a day. I was a fast reader. Then after 12th class, everything faded away. The most embarrassing moment was when my brother asked 5 synonyms for earth, I hardly gave him 3. And again when I started reading kavalu and mookajjiya kanasugalu, I started to realize I had lost it all. I would read a page, then read it again then go to next page. Then I come to the same page again because there is something missing. I don’t think bhairappa has derived an algorithm to calculate a bird’s nest building patterns in his book. He has just written about how fornication can ruin a man’s life.

I’m still trying to figure out how people can predict if I know kannada just looking at me. I go to a barber shop, he calls me bhaiyya and starts talking to me in hindi. I go to a hotel, the waiter replies to me in English. I usually reply them in kannada to make a point to them that I know the language. They think me as a migrant who learnt the language and is trying to impress them. After all of this, I still get a freaking reply at the end in English. Does this mean that a spike haired guy wearing a full framed spectacles with unshaved facial hairs cannot be a kannadiga? I came back to room and try to figure out why this happens. Okay, fine… now I get it. Thank you puberty for turning a cute boy to a completely unrecognizable weirdo.