Do you know what affects you the most sometimes? In my case, it’s when someone who is really close to me stops talking to me. I know something has gone terribly wrong in his life because of which he has decided to stay away from all the interactions. It does affect me in a big way. I can’t stop thinking about how happy he used to be and all those little buddy moments we used to share.
I started to notice this when I sat in front him talking all about all the bullshits of the day and he kept staring at his food. Not in a thousand worlds, he would have done that if he was happy. I could see his face, which is a big figurative emoticon which usually looks like 🙂 started to look like:-(. Then I found him constantly stopping at some point and looking at whichever object that catches his eye. I couldn’t remain heedless. I asked him if everything was okay. Definitely not I knew. Clearly, he didn’t want to share it with me. Then I realized I didn’t deserve to know because I am just one of those “hi-bye” friends.
It just sucked to see this arid sober face every day.
Then two days later, around 11pm, I got a text from him about the reason for his sadness. The moment I heard it, I started to weep. Though I cannot mention it here, all I can say is it would collapse anyone’s strength. He told me that he is not able to get over it. Even I know how hard it is. At that moment, all I could do was to fill him with mental strength which he badly needed. I did my best to bring his sorrow down and cheer him up. At that exact time, 1am, I realized he is not just a guy whom I meet every day, he is my best buddy. My BFF.
As the days passed it seemed everything was okay. We came to know each other well. He supported me and stood by me. It was a great feeling because I finally found someone whose memories will stay in my heart and about whom I will tell my kids a story one day. I believed he had moved on and came out of this well of depression until one day when he texted me “how is my disguise?”. I was startled and had clearly no idea of what this disguise of his was. Then I came to know that he wasn’t still over it and was masking his feelings all this time. Though it was the very beginning of our friendship, I had already lost most of the time. And still losing. He keeps on staying aloof. I wish he could somehow come out of it really soon because even I am not in the greatest of conditions either. I hope you get this and end the growing ennui around me. Missing you “brah”(as I would always call him).