Monthly Archives: January 2015

Right Place, Right Time

I was carefully listening to a trainer who had made his mind to teach everyone present for the session that there is nothing called as luck. He told us “to be successful, you have to be at the right place at the right time”. That brought a smile in my face. After that point, I never listened to what he taught for the next one hour. My body sat straight with a keen face and my mind went for a memory ride. I was lost in my own thoughts till everyone dispersed for lunch break.

Let me tell you when was I at the right place at right time. Since my first day at the college, I have followed just one girl. I have a big crush on her. By crush, I definitely mean, a girl whom I can’t get. She has this incredible eyes, I could stare at them forever. She is just perfect or maybe it’s my spellbound mind doing the talking. I have wasted my nights just thinking about her. Never had the courage to confess anything.
A year had passed and another one. There were no changes in my story. I kept following and she never noticed me. My best friend from college had enough of all this. He said “say it or leave it”. If it was that much easier to express, why would I have kept my mouth shut? Idiot! I thought.

Indian colleges have this ostentatious event called Ethnic day when all rich students wear expensive dresses to make losers like me, feel “oh! Poor me”. All the colors will be on display. Students who don’t dress an ethnic wear-stand in crowd, ogling at chicks who walk on stage. They whistle, cheer and wish they could walk with that girl like the well-dressed guy who is doing right now.

I was all sweaty and frustrated. When I had called my cousin to borrow money for the dress, she had frozen after hearing the price. For three years, I had watched pretty girls with handsome boys on stage holding hands. I was checking out some other group of girls busy in taking photographs which they are going to post on Facebook with a caption that has “toggled cases”. My friend poked me and told me to look at the stage. Well, well, well. The best part. My “crush” looked stunning on stage in a saree that had born to be ON her. The worst part. On stage but with a guy. WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME.

I was disappointed. I left the place in hindrance. There was food arranged and my friend tried to cheer me up. We, hostellers, become normal after good food. I recovered quickly, bid him good bye and headed towards my hostel. The road was empty. I was the only one walking. Few seconds later, I saw a girl walking on the same road. She was coming opposite to me and as she neared, I was shocked. She was my crush. Somewhere inside, a panic button was already pressed. Since no one was around, I thought that might be the best chance to talk to her. RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME.

What should I say?  Hey, you look pretty in that dress. I had practiced this a hundred times as a template for any starting conversations. My hands started to sweat. The boy who just had biriyani felt too weak to even stand. I slowed down and decided to go for it no matter what. The next thing that happened is a complete mess up. Here’s what happened.

I stopped in front of her.
She looked surprised and even she stopped.
I smiled at her.
She smiled at me.
Then I walked away as if I had accidently bumped on to her.
She walked away too.

I didn’t turn back. I walked even faster, reached my room. Jumped up and down, screamed like I had achieved something big. That’s what normal people do after a girl had said yes to their proposal. I beg to differ from them. Since that day, it’s still the same old story. That’s the closest I ever got to her. I think about that incident and interpolate & extrapolate all the possibilities. There is little regret. The only thing that keeps me hopeful is the saying “someday I’ll find my yellow umbrella”.

When we returned after the break, he asked each one of us to tell one thing that we had learnt from his previous session. I stood up and said “to be successful, you have to be at the right place at the right time”.

Share your “right place at right time” moment in the comment section. Would love to read

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Places, Regrets, and Reasons

In our life, we visit so many places. Some places which you only see only though the window while travelling, places where you might have stopped for a while. You don’t notice much change in them through the years because you don’t remember the details.  But there are few places, where you spend most of your time. For me, there are three places which define me. My village- where I grew up and still live. Navodaya – boarding school where I studied from 6th to 12th. Mandya- where I am pursuing my engineering.

Since I am on vacation, I get a lot of free time ponder and write blogs on countless topics. After this vacation, there are 6 months of uphill struggle, projects, seminars, presentations, contests and then PHEW. I will be leaving the place. So it got me thinking, what will I be missing?

This question took me back to the day I entered, and then few early days, new faces, the second year, entering my department, my struggles in handling new responsibilities, and another year and another one. Turns out, except for few moments of sheer joy, some upsetting slaps at face and my best friends, there is nothing else I can I think of.

Four years and there is nothing I will miss from this place. There are several reasons. For starters I was b a complete nerdy ass the whole time. My routine was indeed “strange” to others. I always missed break fasts, went late to class without caring about my hairstyle, sat in first bench and asked doubts in the middle. When classes got over, I left early. But most of my classmates remained and chit chatted. Students here walk in groups and I walked alone. Not a “fun” guy. Nothing impressed or interested me. In tours I was shy to dance, in cultural programs I updated my apps from free Wi-Fi. I didn’t socialize much.  

Enough for any person to call me weirdo but I did all this for a reason. I had a goal and until I reached my destination, I had decided to stay discreet as much as possible. Now that I have achieved what I dreamt of, I will try to be “cool”. Maybe some miracle can happen in 6 months. That is some big amount of time rite? I will not regret if nothing happens, I will still be happy. I got over 100 followers in WordPress, I will count this as first big thing, and move on to next semester where February 14 awaits, who knows, I might get lucky.  
     

English Vinglish

When it comes to writing in English, I am comfortable and capable of expressing my thoughts through words. I have a blog for god’s sake. When it comes to listening and understanding, I have watched enough serials, movies, documentaries, talk shows to be called as a freak. But when it comes to speaking English, well, I am destitute. I sound like that guy from call center in Jimmy Kimmel live. I stop after few words, take some time, and then continue with my Indian accent. Every time something like this happens, I ask myself, when I am able to read, write, understand, listen, why can’t I speak properly?

My attempts at bettering my accent have been flop. One day, when our teacher had left the class early, I came back to hostel and noticed that all the rooms around my room were locked. It was still class time. I thought that was the best chance to lock myself inside the room and try singing some English songs. I put on earphones and started listening to jay-z’s “faint” from collision course. Take a moment to laugh at my song selection, you have every right to do so. Instead of Bryan Adams or Enrique Iglesias, I chose a rapper. Dr. Sheldon Cooper couldn’t recognize him remember? While I was at it, I took my phone and recorded my singing. To my surprise, I was better than I thought. Beginner’s luck maybe. Later, when I tried Eminem’s “no love” and listened back, I laughed and laughed at my accent. I had just raped the greatest verse of all time. 

And again, a month later, with just 3 days left for our first interview, me and my friend Shiva, realized how poor we speak English. We hadn’t given it much thought because we don’t normally bump into strangers asking us to tell him about ourselves. But this person, who is going to take my interview, will surely decide on the basis of how good I speak English. So we decided to speak English for the next three days so that we don’t miss a chance of grabbing a job at that good paying company. “Let’s speak English!” I said followed by a fist bump failure.

Then there was ten minutes of silence. Not because we had nothing to say but we waited for someone to start the conversation. Inside we were thinking in our mother tongue of course. Then I broke the silence and said “let’s move to dining hall”. We gave each other an awkward look and started walking. When we came outside I asked Shiva if he had seen darshan anywhere. A guy passed past us and kept looking at us till he was inches away from bumping into a wall. Good luck with concussion buddy, I thought. He felt this strange. People don’t walk around corridors speaking English in our hostel.

Being a great fan of sitcoms, I was humdumming Shiva by suggesting some of the best which I surely know he will never watch. This discussion was obviously going on in English because we had made a pact rite? I could bear one guy staring at me but it became intolerable when others in the mess started looking at us. It felt weird. That was the answer to my earlier question. I cannot speak proper English because people around me don’t speak in English with each other and when someone does, they either make fun of him or simply stare clueless. Trust me, it is difficult to ignore all those faces.

I have a goal. After I am out of this present environment, one day, I will go to Australia and master myself with whatever it takes to get Michael Clark’s accent. 

     

Learn To Live

It was a very scorching afternoon yesterday and I was walking on a quiet road. No vehicles or people. Just hot air and my dark shadow following me. I was nearing our new house in the urban. I, being new to the neighborhood, was looking at each thing that caught me because I normally get lost in new places. I was observed by the people who have been living there since years. I smiled at them. That’s how easy it is to make friends. Just smile back.

And then, in a house which is few steps away from mine was a young boy who waved at me. I stopped and was shocked at the sight that lied in front of me. That boy had no cloths on him. He had put his arms through the Iron Gate and tried to say something through his hand movements. I was baffled at first but then I realized, he badly wanted to get out of the house. He couldn’t stand up. Saliva was down running from his mouth, he had no control on his body. There was a plate which had uneaten food. I could clearly see he was dusted and forbidden from everything. A window opened from the house and a woman shouted “he is mad, he will bite you if you go near him, just ignore and move”. 

I was completely disturbed at this. I told my aunt about this and she said she was informed about this before and his disease is untreatable. Things like this can make me silent for days. It’s hard to recover. So many questions came to my mind. The first one is why was he treated like an animal? What is point in living in such plight?

I can’t blame god. I don’t even know who to blame. All I can do is sit quietly and think about all those people who have everything and still complain and others who have nothing yet roam happily. I have friends who constantly whine about being unlucky and their problems. I am no different. I do that too. We fail to understand that although we are not millionaires, we are still in a better condition than many others. How tough it is to live every moment to its fullest not worrying about what others think of us? We easily surrender and give up. We think our problems are bigger. In all those situations, always think twice. You are what someone, somewhere dreams to be. 

   
  

The One about My Mind

What is the one thing that you want so badly? If asked to any other person, I presume that girlfriend or money are the first things that comes his mind. But for me, being a sapiosexual and a relentless thinker, all I need is a five minutes of absolute silence in my mind.

All my mornings start with my mind still floating half side in a very dreadful nightmare and other half responding to the nagging person trying to wake me up. I talk groggy at first but then stop saying extraneous ridiculous stuffs from my sleep. I check the clock which scares the shit out of me every single time. Take a look at all the unchecked notifications in my phone. After constantly staring at two random objects to my right and to my left, I get up and look at the mirror. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. Out of nowhere, I instantly get mental picture of the list of all the things that I should do in that particular day. From that point, my mind becomes one crazy shouter of a kind.

Everything gets bizarre once my mind starts to talk. I can bear when it talks to me in my own voice, but it becomes intolerable when it starts to ape people. Sometimes it echoes catchy dialogues from movies and serials but most of the times, it corrects people’s flaws in grammar, the way they behave. Although I put a bright face and react, inside of me-resides an analyzer that never seems to stop exploring.

I am really interested in knowing if the following thing happens to you. The thing is my mind starts to think at very little activities to a great extent and make them so complex that it seems to devour all my memory. Care to elaborate? Oh yea.

So I am sitting near a window just using my phone and scratching my scalp. A random thought suddenly comes out of nowhere. I SHOULD GET A HAIR CUT. Oh wait, for that, I need to go to nearby village. No buses at this time so obviously the bike. Shit, I’m still a beginner. What if some stranger stops me for a lift?

(I could just ignore but the party shouldn’t stop rite? And it continues)   

In almost 6 months, I’m gonna be an engineer working at Bangalore. It has very busy traffic. How will I ride in such a big city? Everything’s gonna be new. Will I be one of those people from corporate offices who have got no free time at all? I have to write GRE and then life in US!

You got me? From getting a haircut to life in US. This is how chaotic it is. It gets even worse if I am traveling alone and I have nothing to read or my phone’s battery is empty. In day time, all I worry about how salty my breakfast was. During nights, if I sleep late, its reaches are up to quantum theory, relativity theory, the fifth dimension. Now, you must be clearly knowing why I had asked for five minutes of absolute silence in my mind.

Please Share your thoughts. I want to know if you ever had these kind of experiences

The One about My Mind

What is the one thing that you want so badly? If asked to any other person, I presume that girlfriend or money are the first things that comes his mind. But for me, being a sapiosexual and a relentless thinker, all I need is a five minutes of absolute silence in my mind.

All my mornings start with my mind still floating half side in a very dreadful nightmare and other half responding to the nagging person trying to wake me up. I talk groggy at first but then stop saying extraneous ridiculous stuffs from my sleep. I check the clock which scares the shit out of me every single time. Take a look at all the unchecked notifications in my phone. After constantly staring at two random objects to my right and to my left, I get up and look at the mirror. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. Out of nowhere, I instantly get mental picture of the list of all the things that I should do in that particular day. From that point, my mind becomes one crazy shouter of a kind.

Everything gets bizarre once my mind starts to talk. I can bear when it talks to me in my own voice, but it becomes intolerable when it starts to ape people. Sometimes it echoes catchy dialogues from movies and serials but most of the times, it corrects people’s flaws in grammar, the way they behave. Although I put a bright face and react, inside of me-resides an analyzer that never seems to stop exploring.

I am really interested in knowing if the following thing happens to you. The thing is my mind starts to think at very little activities to a great extent and make them so complex that it seems to devour all my memory. Care to elaborate? Oh yea.

So I am sitting near a window just using my phone and scratching my scalp. A random thought suddenly comes out of nowhere. I SHOULD GET A HAIR CUT. Oh wait, for that, I need to go to nearby village. No buses at this time so obviously the bike. Shit, I’m still a beginner. What if some stranger stops me for a lift?

(I could just ignore but the party shouldn’t stop rite? And it continues)   

In almost 6 months, I’m gonna be an engineer working at Bangalore. It has very busy traffic. How will I ride in such a big city? Everything’s gonna be new. Will I be one of those people from corporate offices who have got no free time at all? I have to write GRE and then life in US!

You got me? From getting a haircut to life in US. This is how chaotic it is. It gets even worse if I am traveling alone and I have nothing to read or my phone’s battery is empty. In day time, all I worry about how salty my breakfast was. During nights, if I sleep late, its reaches are up to quantum theory, relativity theory, the fifth dimension. Now, you must be clearly knowing why I had asked for five minutes of absolute silence in my mind.

Please Share your thoughts. I want to know if you ever had these kind of experiences

A Letter to the Gone girl

Dear Gone Girl,
At this point, I don’t even know how it all ended or what to say. You have gone too far. I look around and nothing reminds me of you. I now, completely believe the saying “you are only special to them until they find another”. I have stopped asking myself why it didn’t work out. I am better off without you. If you ever thought that staying quiet is the answer for all our little fights, may be it is true.

You and I are very different. A glue held us together but I always feared that this indifference would cost me in the future. When I started noticing that I was on the verge of the wreckage of yet another friendship, I tried too much to make everything work. I was hurt, yes, but wasn’t ready to give up on one of the best journey I had so far. But nothing really matters after the point when things start to fall apart. I could have fallen into a much deeper pit if I hadn’t realized I was being ignored. Even though reasons don’t solve any of the problems, you never cared to give any. Then things became obvious. It was over.

I have moved on from the brain waves which advised me to visit that dark place again. No regrets or remorse. You have partly taught me so many lessons and I am grateful for that but I strongly feel that your fake concerns over little deeds and deceiving portrays of amity will contuse another soul. Just remember, karma is a bitch. Now that I have freed the filth which is you, I am more contented than I ever was.

Once yours and will never be,
Chiruhr.