Have you ever considered of leaving some things unanswered or unseen? Not because you can’t find the answers, or you can’t see the end, but because you just don’t want to go in there. If you have ever faced this or in the future, if you find yourself in this exact situation, I on behalf of all the losers, beg you to stop looking for answers. Being not aware of what’s on the other side is so much better than having tears well down from your reneged heart after knowing what was on the other side. No matter how much it tempts you, please leave the puzzle because not all the times, pieces don’t make a pretty picture when they are arranged. The truth will slap right at you.
My story is of a very close friendship with a girl. The starting days of our friendship were magical. The first thing I saw were her messages in my inbox. Those 100 messages a day weren’t enough as I kept bragging if formals look good on me, or for that matter, anything. Call it a vibe or a drive, I just couldn’t stop myself from telling every little detail of me to her. She on the other hand, hardly told me anything. Yes of course, I didn’t know she had other “important” things in life too. I belonged to one of those teenagers who are bound to the paradigm that there is only one side of a girl. Why not, because that is the only face which she shows to you.
After the initial phase, there came a day when she told me a bitter story of her. May be it was just like any other story to her but right at that point, it meant so much that I started to trust her. Trust her with the deepest secrets and some big things. I built a sand castle that stood on our trust. I was sailing this ship of strange friendship and I was always unsure of if she felt the exact same thing. From then, I started to call her the secret keeper.
This went for months and as the days passed, I became an open book to her. She knew about every page and every line. Everything was just perfect. All I ever wanted was someone like her. She was (is) beautiful. She is a muffin. Then one day, out of nowhere, due to an emotional turmoil or idiotic surge to make her mine forever, I confessed that I had feelings for her. That’s the only time that I have done and the reply made me regret the decision forever. She said I was just a friend just like any other guy.
With nothing left to be expected of, I stopped texting her. Seriously? Just like any other guy? How could she possibly say that? Yes, it was my fault that I expected something more but am I no different from any other guy she texts to. Later I found about many of her “other” friends. Turns out, she is dating one of those other guys too. Well, la de fucking da. I have moved on. She is happy.
I have never been able to find anyone like her. May be I don’t want someone like her. It was my mistake to jump straight to the other side to know what it probably had. It is never good. It kills me every day that I couldn’t hold my feelings. From that day onwards, I am handling Closures very well. I am happy with just one side of the things. I have stopped expecting from my friends. It’s a good thing. Just stay clear out of all troubles. You either say how you feel and fuck it up or say nothing and let it fuck you up instead.