The one about going to Gym

At some point in your life, you will start doing things you once thought you wouldn’t even try. Not because doing it makes you better but because you want to shut some people up. While I was comfortably watching movies in a streak with my laptop on the “study” table (giggles) and me on my comfy bed with lots of junk food, friends started complaining that I was becoming a fat balloon. I hadn’t noticed because the mirror hardly covers my face. Even if I had, I wouldn’t have cared. Who has time for workouts anyway?

A big fat belly was least of my concerns and the only reason I wouldn’t skip slim belt ads that come on TV was the tall hot blondes who run in bikinis in the middle of nowhere.

Then came a day when my friend stopped me and said “you look like Sal Volcano from Impractical Jokers”. That was not humiliating than what he did next. He touched my tummy or call it even fondling. I didn’t know how much fat I had until this point. To top all this act of contempt, the next day I saw him featured in my college’s Facebook page called “Divas and Hunks”. This page is created only to pulverize gullible chumps and make them feel even worse.

I have done some dumb shits so far in my life but what I did the next day was the most ridiculous thing. I joined a gym. On the first day, as expected, everyone inside the powerhouse looked at me with an expression “what is he doing here?” . I paid 300 and my Trainor explained me about food habits, the do’s and don’ts. I did some freeing exercises and left early.  I purchased all the things he had mentioned – eggs, cereals, fruits and protein powder.

A week passed and I was sweating out doing biceps, triceps, and shoulder exercises. Then came a Sunday. Sundays are holidays. So I went home. Even though I didn’t go to gym that day Indian roads and heavy luggage had given me enough of work. Damn, I was lying on my couch and some random minutes later, every part of my body started to ache. So painful that I couldn’t lift a spoon. Therefore I skipped the next day.

The start of second week at the gym was more horrible. The Trainor made me lift heavy bars and when I stopped out of exhaustion, he gave me “such a pussy “look. He was yelling at me to do one more set of 10 lifts and everyone at gym started to notice this drama. After he was gone to torment another guy, I quickly removed 5kg weights and placed 2.5kg ones. While doing this, the heavy bar fell on ground due to imbalance and it made one hell of a noise. Luckily no one got hurt but by this time, the infuriated Trainor was right in front of my face screaming “what the fuck is wrong with you”. I left the gym right at that moment and came back to my room.

Yes. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I join the gym in the first place? What was I trying to prove? Whom was I trying to impress? Why did I need all this? What was the whole point? That one moment of embarrassment was enough to instigate everything because I’m the type of person who is fine one second, then I overthink and depress myself. Until a point I’m going through the entire day remembering everything bad that’s ever happened to me.   

I realized life is too short to work out. I realized one hour at gym is too much of sacrifice. And that was the last time I went to gym. 

I’ve given up.

I’ve made this far,
But now, I’ll stop.
I’ve broken legs,
I can no more hop.

Illusions, they come and go
Nightmares, they hurt me more
Obfuscations masked many of the lies.
Only Hope is what that kept me alive.

For the day has come,
I will no longer try.
Walls have been breached
My weakness can no longer hide.

I know how hard it is,
To climb a mountain just to fall.
To sail an endless ocean, just to drown.
To love someone, just to get cheated.

May come a day when I regret this,
For giving up on THE IMPOSSIBLE
Then, I’ll say, I had reasons
Like a stupid coward.

My First Poem

I had hidden a feeling,
So deep that it could only come out,
When I meet that damsel in distress,
When I hear that heart soothing voice again,
When I feel that soft touch of an angel again.

Days passed and I lived million moments,
Not a single time that I noticed
That the feeling was absent.

I stayed put from all the distractions
Only with the fear that my soul will become timid again,
That I will have to start dreaming endlessly again,
That I wouldn’t stand pain of left alone again.
But Truths be told, I missed that feeling.
No matter how high I felt, how stupid I behaved around.

Now, I sense the same feeling in the air again,
It’s that mystic voice that warns whispers
It’s that disordered mood that has no limits
It’s that uncontrollable blushing smile
Which endorses the hidden feeling to be love

Keeping aside a pile of affirming conjectures that say I’m normal,
I willingly accept, I’ve fallen in love AGAIN.