Two weird things.

If Omens were right, I shouldn’t be telling you this story but I am going to take my chances. My blog is already is a mixture of all types of emotions and why not add the weird factor into it.

It is going to be cool if you’re an open minded person but a serious hurdle if you are not. On either case, go ahead. Life is short. Don’t be shy.

It is Saturday. For this day, you wait an entire week thinking I’m going to be relieved by all the stress. I’m going to spend it in such a posh manner that it is going to be on my DP. Too much build up for one single day that everything crashes down to everlasting boredom. The same thing happened to me.

Until I called my friend at 6 pm to ask how her day went.

Weird Conversation 1:

“Hey, Good evening. What’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m just staying in my room”. She Said.
“What did you do all day?”
“I had sex with an Ostrich”
“You had what with what?” I was as shocked as you are right now.
“It was a one-time thing. An Ostrich fucked me”

She must be definitely kidding. I was just blown away by how did that thought even came to her my mind. I think of wild things too and yes it has definitely landed me to some craziest porn sites but this imagination of her was way ahead and creative than mine.

“So how did you guys do it?” I was curious. My head was already boggled.

“It was on top of me. It did the moving. I was under the big Ostrich. It was tough in the beginning but it all worked out very well in the end.” She said as if it had actually happened.

“Cut the crap idiot. I’m gonna call you an Ostrich Fucker from now on” I said. I cut the call.

Weird Conversation 2:

My friend was having dinner and I had just finished my food. I was looking into a big mirror. My hair looked kinda messy.

“I should probably get a haircut tomorrow,” I said.

“Are you serious? If I had hair like yours I would never do that” He said.

“Hairs are the worst thing that has happened to men. Women have periods and we have hairs growing all over our face. I just hate them” I said.

“So you’d rather bleed? Is that how much you hate shaving or getting your hair cut?”. He asked.

“Eww. Stop it. The problem with my hair is that when I wash it cleanly and go to the office, people ask me, hey, did you wake and just came to office. But when I don’t wash it and when I don’t take the shower, the same people say you look good today!” I almost cried.

“Leave it. It looks good on you and there is another reason why hairs should not be removed”. He said.

People say all kinds of stuff but I heard next was the craziest shit. It made me remove the charger off my phone and leave the room for a while.

“What are you even telling?”. I wore a confused expression.

“Were you sleeping in biology classes? Anyway, I have read that Ancient blah blah blah tells that hairs are the key to good sex life. The more hairs you have, the more you are going to enjoy it. Trust me, it is proven.” He said it in a normal tone. He was not sensing the aura that surrounded me.

He went on.

“If you remove your hair from any part of you body, you are going to lose the most important thing – Sensitivity. That is the essential part of the fore play”.He stopped as I grabbed my jaws from the floor, closed the door behind and left the place.

The Versatile Blogger Award.

I don’t believe in coincidences. There, I said it. I always say boo whenever someone tells me things like “My crush is wearing Grey today. I am wearing Grey too. What a coincidence!!”. Nah! I don’t buy it.

While I acted as if a shooting star had just crashed on my laptop and I had something new to write about, she went on jumping and punching my arms. Elated.

I did the math.

Why did I study Probability? Hmm. To compute the probability of a tall hunk (out of 600+ male employees) wearing a color that is Grey (Lame and out of 10 million set of colors we can see) and also a nice young lady (out of 600+ female employees) wearing the same color.

Wait. This is rare. The probability is so small. I was shocked. Can I call this a “small coincidence”. (“Big Coincidence” being me and Neil DeGrasse Tyson tweeting the same thing.)

Then it hit me. She has his number. They might have talked about wearing the same color.

Coincidence = Hokum.

I was delighted and surprised to have been nominated for “The Versatile Blogger Award” by Reshma and Aishwariya . Coincidence?Thanks for reminding my blog out of hundreds you might have visited. This is a great start to 2016 and these are the little things that give me so much of joy.

Reshma is thoughtful, patient and she writes in a pace that can make you relate to every line she writes. Aishwariya, on the other hand, is a coder and a down to earth person who is passionate about writing. Please visit their blog and once you do, I know, you wouldn’t stop until you finish reading all their posts.

What is The Versatile Blogger Award?

The Versatile Blogger Award is given in recognition for the great commitment, diverse talents and generosity shown by bloggers here in our community. There is so much creativity on the show that it is difficult to reduce a list to only a few, but for those nominated it is hoped that it will serve to motivate them as well as celebrate their work till date.

The rules:

  • Nominate at least 15 blogs of your choice.
  • Link your nominees and let them know of your nomination.
  • Share seven different facts about yourself.

So here I go…

7 Facts About Me:

  1. I love to eat till I am 300% full, once in a month. I don’t ever miss doing this. It is strictly followed by a random physical exercise regretting why did I eat so much.
  2. I love Books and Blogs. I read whenever I am not talking to a person. Reading makes me feel how less I know and talking to some people make me feel how less they know.
  3. I make my own theories. I have my own explanation to why things happen the way they happen. They are logical too if you agree to my previous theories.
  4. I write down everything because I forget often. My to do list will have silliest things like “Buy a face wash” “Buy a shampoo”. Any normal Person would write only “Buy a face wash” and just that one thing would be enough to remind him of the other things like shampoo, toothpaste etc. But not me.
  5. I have a fear of heights. The reason I have not reached one.
  6. I sleep a lot. 12 hours on weekends. Out of which 1 hour goes in search of the sleep and wondering when will I sleep.
  7. I am not pompous. I try not to be.

Sigh.

I would like to pass this award on to these lovely bloggers who I have discovered recently. They truly deserve this.

  1. https://sanghamitrachakrabarty.wordpress.com/
  2. https://buddhuaamaadmi.wordpress.com/
  3. https://nimitode.wordpress.com/
  4. https://mamtadagar1896.wordpress.com/
  5. https://srishtiwalia.wordpress.com/
  6. https://vaayadipennu.wordpress.com/
  7. https://literatureismyporn.wordpress.com/
  8. http://thebikinibookworm.com/
  9. https://saharaina.wordpress.com/
  10. http://richardankers.com/
  11. https://hurtafew.wordpress.com/
  12. https://poemhobby.wordpress.com/
  13. https://rahulyn.wordpress.com/
  14. https://theamusedmind.wordpress.com/
  15. https://notionlux.wordpress.com/

 

1/1/2016

 

You know What? I’m So happy today!

You know Why? Because I could fuck up dd/mm format and you wouldn’t know it.

I’m working in my office today, Yeah, You heard me right.

Hari called me to wish today.

“Hey bro, Happy new year!!!!!!” He wished.

“Happy Birthday Dude!” I wished at the same time as he did.

“It’s not my birthday today”. He was confused.

“I’m sorry, I’m too stupid, Happy new year bro. It’s the third time I’m wishing someone Happy birthday instead of Happy new year. Anyway, Happy new year bro”. I said, disgusted.

“Man, I tell ya, We had a party, we danced, drank and I don’t remember the rest but It was Legendary bro!!” He said.

“Wow, That is soo cool”.

“What did you do bro” He asked me.

“I took a shower, I went to a temple and now I am in Office”. I said.

“Whaat, That is all you did? Don’t you bathe everyday? What unforgettable and special about that?”

“Hello, you drink every week. you dance when you are drunk. So Except if your friends were not from ISIS, I cannot consider your new year bash as Legendary”. I said.

“Dude, Come on, It’s 1/1/2016/. It’s gonna be in my memory forever because this day doesn’t repeat! Ever.” His Justification.

“Then the Shower I’ll take on 2/1/2016 is gonna be special too coz tomorrow doesn’t repeat! Ever”. I said just waiting for him to fall into a trap that I was setting.

“Listen. Today marks the start of a new year”. He was annoyed.

“What about the other 364 who are just as important as today and constitute 2016. You just celebrate one day say it’s special and interesting? What is gonna change in one day except the calendar? Don’t even get me started on the Interesting day paradox”

All days are interesting. The proof is by contradiction: if there exists a non-empty set of uninteresting days, there would be a oldest uninteresting day – but the oldest uninteresting day is itself interesting because it is the oldest uninteresting day, producing a contradiction.

“Woah! I didn’t understand a thing. It all went over my head but yeah, You may be correct. You’re still into maths, writing and stuff and I am into drinking, road trips and stuffs. Years change but this taste of Heineken doesn’t. Although, You know what I can suggest, try to be less Sarcastic in 2016 bro”.

“Ya Sure” I said.

“Now, Was that sarcastic?” He asked.

“No. It was not” I giggled.

“I don’t wanna get into “The sarcastic paradox”, So bye, Have a great year”

“You too”.

I hung up.

So Happy New Year Everyone!

Not Everyone, Just the ones who are reading this, My readers and fellow bloggers. Because it is You, who make me sit down in front of this myriad years old computer and type my heart out. Have a great year and make good memories in 2016 that you’re actually gonna remember on, I don’t know, DEC 2016.