I got Laid. For the first time.

I finished and moved aside tired. But she wasn’t. She was lying there, ready to go again. I had ripped her apart but not enough. Maybe an all nighter would not be enough for her. I didn’t even cuddle. I went for an awesome sleep. I woke the next morning. Regretting about last night. But she acted as if she was okay and still fresh.

I am not talking about a girl here. By She, I am referring to “A Game of thrones by George R R Martin”. This book has got me addicted, hooked, laid, and roam around in Bangalore streets thinking about dragons.

It has been just two days since I held the book in my hand and now I cannot resist myself from it. Ever since I dived into this magical realm, I forgot that my life doesn’t have a purpose or goals. My goal is now to finish all the 7 books. Yesterday, I read the book till 2 and I didn’t even turn off the lights or didn’t even keep the book on the table. I slept with a book!

There are hundreds of characters, tens of houses and their sigils, and much more little interesting things in this book. I am afraid I might forget some. Like that Butcher’s boy Mycah. But that is exactly how our lives are.  Do you remember all the teachers and students from your childhood? People whom you might have met and thought you had a connection but now, you don’t know about their existence!.

Life still goes on with the ones whom you do remember. Even if they exist only in your memories just like characters of a book or a movie.

This is the closest to any sexual experience I ever had. I will keep sleeping with the same book. I suggest you to read it. You will get lucky.

…. And Then, what after that ?

Since I visit my home once in a month and buses that go to my village change now and then, getting in the right bus becomes a difficult task. It was just another Saturday where I had taken the wrong bus. It stopped 2km from my home and I had to walk. I put my headphones on and started walking. I heard someone calling and removed my headphones. I noticed an old man trying to lift a bag and it was too heavy for him.  I helped him, he smiled and I moved as the clouds were getting darker.

“Why are you in a hurry?” he said. I looked back and it was him again. Funny thing is, even he was headed in the same direction as me but only with heavy weight on his shoulder.

My favorite show starts in 10 minutes was my instant reply, but instead I said “It’s about to rain”.

He laughed and said “no, it won’t. The clouds are moving towards the hillside. It will rain there but not in your village”. The confidence he had when he said that amazed me and I checked google weather notification. It clearly said, “Light thunderstorms and rain”.

“I better get moving, it’s getting late,” I said.

“Slow down. Talk to me. What do you do?” I began sensing this conversation not ending anytime quickly so I said “ I am doing engineering” and started to move quickly. I didn’t look back. He asked me again, “what after engineering?”, I said, “Job”. His next reply started to annoy me. He yelled “and then? What after job”, I screamed “marriage”, he yelled “what after marriage?”, I said, “ children”. That should’ve stopped right there, but he screamed again from a distance “What after that”. I pretended I didn’t hear that and reached home with a big relief.

I watched my favorite show, a cricket match and surfed till it was 12. Not a single drop of rain fell that day. Surprisingly, he was smarter than google.

Stop Assuming Things

I have travelled places. I have met so many types of people. Regardless of how distant you are from them or how much you are close to them, almost everyone seems to have an opinion about me. Is it just me who has faced annoying predictions like “you must be so famous in your college”? I want stop that person right there for blindly saying a pointless thing and tell him that I lock myself in my room and play games in my phone. But is it really worth being easily disturbed by such sayings?

In this type of situations, I first see the credibility of that person before getting into any sort of arguments. If he is not around me and we just happened to meet out of nowhere, he might be saying a rumor that some other person has started. In that case, I can easily shrug off and move on to an actual fact based conversation.

In worst cases, that person might be most important to you and that my friend, hurts a lot! Just that one random question from your closed ones puts everything into perspectives. You start to think, after all this, is this what she thinks of me? What if this is what was in her mind from the very beginning? And before you know it, you are stuck in a LOOP. You are still overthinking and losing control and that person asks you again “did I offend you?”. How can you not be, for all you thought the she understood you completely.

In the end it’s all a one sided view. You cannot be judged by anyone. So pretend you didn’t hear anything that person said and move on.

Infinity Dreams Award

“Put that damn phone down, go to Hema aunty’s house and bring coriander” my mom said this in 19,999 kHz. “I will go during the ad break” I said hoping that Ravi Shastri would stop introducing every other sucker before tossing the frikking coin. She gave that “neen udhara agalla (You will never make progress in life)” look. I pushed the chair hard good enough to produce that rankling sound. Ravens were out to neighbors that something worth a gossip has happened inside.

By the time I returned to the drama, my phone’s notification had reached a threshold. Goal updates, cricket news, toi buzzes, countless messages from WhatsApp groups, you name it. The one that really caught my eye was a WordPress notification. When I checked, it was from one of my favorite blogger archiekoushik. She had nominated me for Infinity dreams award. I am very much grateful to her. She is such a gifted writer and the reason I check “blogs I follow” tag every day.

So here I share, seven things about me that I am supposed to bring to light.

  • Since my final semester began, I am trapped inside my own snare. Half of the day I keep balancing the charge left in my phone and laptop by plugging one of them to the only socket in my room. In the other I can be found in TV hall not watching TV, Playground not playing a game and yes, Poopting
  • I find extreme bliss in applying shaving foam all over my face and laying on my bed for hours. Sometimes, that’s all I really wanna do. Hell yeah!
  • I have no confines when it comes to eating non veg. I don’t care if it’s Monday or Saturday. I’ll grab that leg piece and devour the flesh apart on any given day on the calendar.
  • People say it’s good to eat till you are 80% full. Till this day, I have never followed that. I eat till I’m 200%. I never cheat my digestive system. I have a list of people who have picked Papad off my plate and they are certainly going to hell.
  • I love cricket. I love how I met your mother. There are 256 more things that I love. But the point is, I expect my friends to love the same. I once unfriended my chum because, after watching “A beautiful mind”, he said “worst movie ever”. Watch out, once I befriend you, pretend as if you really love Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.
  • Over the years, I have observed that my life following a chakra. I see an extremely attractive girl and I think that I will never have the courage to talk to her. Enough time passes and I finally get her number, I share all my stupid feelings and in the end she leaves me like every other girl. And it repeats all over again.
  • I have written quotes all over the wall and I name certain stuffs for my convenience.I regret for naming my room door as “TARDIS”. Every time someone enters my room and asks me to explain them, well it’s tough.

That’s about me. Hope you are as confused as a dwarf in a cradle. Here are my nominations for the same,

Shubham Pal




Mahadeva Darshan


Do visit these blogs and enjoy what they offer. They are crafty and have posted some exquisite stuffs.

Bye for now!

Rules: Thank and link back to the blog who nominated you.

Share seven facts about yourself.

Nominate other bloggers for this award.

The one about My First Editorial

The annual technical magazine of my college will be released on 10th of April and the editorial board for this magazine was led by me. The editorial musings that i post here will be my first ever experience and i am already getting a little nervous due to this.

Here’s what i wrote.

Andy Dufresne: There are places in this world that aren’t made out of stone. That there’s something inside… that they can’t get to, that they can’t touch. That’s yours.

Red: What’re you talking about?

Andy Dufresne: Hope.

This striking scene from the all-time time classic “The Shawshank Redemption” was the first thing that came into my mind when I was asked to lead the editorial team for AURIFERA. Two years ago, I stood dejected as my own article was rejected. But hope kept me motivated. I hoped, as long as I have faith in my cause and an unconquerable will to win, anything can be achieved. Yes, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

AURIFERA started as an idea. It all began with setting up a team with passionate aficionados, believers, thinkers and doers. We divided the work and started doing the tasks that were assigned to us. There was a drought for entries in the beginning but WhatsApp, Facebook and PESCE Fourthambit helped out in reaching out to every individual. There was no looking back since then.

After a month of bewildering travail and sleepless nights, I became a big fan of the saying “Everything comes at a cost”. For what it’s taken to start from scratch and finally put in order, it’s the sigh of contentment is what I see in the end. Working with the team, I’ve honed my skills and without everyone’s effort, this wouldn’t have been a possibility. Everyone has contributed at certain phases and kept AURIFERA alive and breathing.

I want to thank every person who was part of the team. Shubham pal, a skilled boxer and an expert in Baritsu who took the trouble of editing every article, Pratyush, the deuterogamist who was ready whenever I said “Let’s Cook”, Subhodip , Kalyani and Vidya, the three musketeers who were available all the time to help me with every single thing. I am grateful to Manjunath, Sharath, Geethika, and Raju for bringing articles when I almost fell asleep on my laptop thinking that the count wouldn’t even reach 5.

Let us now observe a moment of silence for the things I missed over past 45 days. They are match day live shows of John Dykes, WordPress notifications, Platonic relationships, fretful twitteratis’, power walks inside college, Airplanes Part II and witty sarcasms of imperious, uber-nerd genius – Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Last month, I was exploring the depths of eternal knowledge in my android phone and my little brother interrupted me, by asking if dolphins had knees. While I was still processing what he had just asked, he gave an expression of ever-so-light amusement and yelled “Google It”. That’s exactly where technology has brought us. Thinking for a solution is not the answer but googling the problem is. As the time passed, we have moved on from interactive web browsers to intelligent web browsers, from classroom lectures to webinars, from taking notes on paper to taking notes on Evernote, from physical shopping to online shopping, from Holo UI to material design.

It gives me a great pleasure to present before you, this year’s issue of AURIFERA. So all right, let’s enjoy this party. Let’s appreciate what’s been achieved and what is possible today. But don’t drink too much and head out deep water for a swim. You might find yourself in over your head. Wade in, enjoy the water, and keep your wits about you. You will need them.”

My First Poem

I had hidden a feeling,
So deep that it could only come out,
When I meet that damsel in distress,
When I hear that heart soothing voice again,
When I feel that soft touch of an angel again.

Days passed and I lived million moments,
Not a single time that I noticed
That the feeling was absent.

I stayed put from all the distractions
Only with the fear that my soul will become timid again,
That I will have to start dreaming endlessly again,
That I wouldn’t stand pain of left alone again.
But Truths be told, I missed that feeling.
No matter how high I felt, how stupid I behaved around.

Now, I sense the same feeling in the air again,
It’s that mystic voice that warns whispers
It’s that disordered mood that has no limits
It’s that uncontrollable blushing smile
Which endorses the hidden feeling to be love

Keeping aside a pile of affirming conjectures that say I’m normal,
I willingly accept, I’ve fallen in love AGAIN.

The one about telling the truth

I had just procrastinated my plan to prepare for the seminar on Monday and sat to waste another hour in Facebook. I was so wasted that I could never stop scrolling to refresh the news feed. I knew I could do this the whole day. I get constantly stuck in an idle zone where I do nothing productive. Until someone knocks my door or there is about to be food served, I don’t move.

Exactly at this futile hour, I got a call from my best friend.

Here’s bit about US. She is the girl I value the most. Even though we were in the same school for almost 5 years, I never realized we shared similar interests until one fine day. That’s the funny thing about destiny, it happens whether you planned it or not. We talked and talked and our phones went dead. The way how fast things were going, I started to sense it might lead to something I was not ready for. So when she asked where we were headed, I made it clear that “we’ll just be friends. Best friends”. I had broken that little twig that would have crept or who knows what more it would have done.

She seemed to be okay with it. I never noticed any change after that defining conversation. We continued to stay in touch though not as much as before. That doesn’t matter if your friend is understanding. We have had ups and downs. We have had fights on silly things. Though we share common interests, in person we are two different characters. This indifference has not affected our friendship.

She hates how much time I spend on internet and phone. She wants me to change. She wants me to come out of the prison I’ve locked myself in and explore what’s outside: Be the guy I can’t be. Have I tried changing? No. in fact, I have become much more addicted. She gave up on changing me. But still, we are fine.

And today, just when I had finished talking to her, she asked me something that has left me perplexed. She asked “do you love me? Or had that feeling in any point since we’ve met

A yes to this question might will make trigger her we-could-one-day-be-a-couple part of her feeling. A No can even hurt her more. Nothing is easy to say. It’s not simple as it looks. I told her “I have classes now, I’ll call you in the evening”. I left the question
unanswered. I cut the call.

Did I do the right thing?

2.2.15 The moving day

From the moment I woke up, I was sure that this would be a big day. My holidays are over and I left my home for one last time. Mom had everything packed up. It’s like she wanted me to leave the house soon. She kept telling me to take care of my stuffs in the journey. I may be 21, but for her, I am still 12. Call me when you reach hostel echoed when I was getting inside the bus.

I got in and sat near a window seat. Got a Nice view of how lives change over distances. From villages to cities, it’s like traveling universes. The guy next to me was worried that there has not been much rain in this month, while I was thinking why I hadn’t got the lollipop version for my phone yet. Two different people. Too different thoughts.

I got high fives from every single person I met in the college today. Sheldon would have complained about germs exchange but I got irritated answering the same question over and over again. The question being ” how were Holidays”. Completed formalities.

Just 30 days at home and my room here had transformed into one of those filthy places from lord of the rings. Had to arrange things and clean up the mess. After that, a kind hearted friend of mine offered me free internet to update from KitKat to lollipop.

Since then, I am attached to new interface and smooth design. Just loving it. My loser friends who still haven’t got the update went crazy. And when I had thought everything was going just perfect, I sat in front of hotel food. It reminded me of home. Best food there is. Priceless. Called mom and she screamed ” you forgot your laptop charger”.

Oh my god!. The nightmare.

Right Place, Right Time

I was carefully listening to a trainer who had made his mind to teach everyone present for the session that there is nothing called as luck. He told us “to be successful, you have to be at the right place at the right time”. That brought a smile in my face. After that point, I never listened to what he taught for the next one hour. My body sat straight with a keen face and my mind went for a memory ride. I was lost in my own thoughts till everyone dispersed for lunch break.

Let me tell you when was I at the right place at right time. Since my first day at the college, I have followed just one girl. I have a big crush on her. By crush, I definitely mean, a girl whom I can’t get. She has this incredible eyes, I could stare at them forever. She is just perfect or maybe it’s my spellbound mind doing the talking. I have wasted my nights just thinking about her. Never had the courage to confess anything.
A year had passed and another one. There were no changes in my story. I kept following and she never noticed me. My best friend from college had enough of all this. He said “say it or leave it”. If it was that much easier to express, why would I have kept my mouth shut? Idiot! I thought.

Indian colleges have this ostentatious event called Ethnic day when all rich students wear expensive dresses to make losers like me, feel “oh! Poor me”. All the colors will be on display. Students who don’t dress an ethnic wear-stand in crowd, ogling at chicks who walk on stage. They whistle, cheer and wish they could walk with that girl like the well-dressed guy who is doing right now.

I was all sweaty and frustrated. When I had called my cousin to borrow money for the dress, she had frozen after hearing the price. For three years, I had watched pretty girls with handsome boys on stage holding hands. I was checking out some other group of girls busy in taking photographs which they are going to post on Facebook with a caption that has “toggled cases”. My friend poked me and told me to look at the stage. Well, well, well. The best part. My “crush” looked stunning on stage in a saree that had born to be ON her. The worst part. On stage but with a guy. WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME.

I was disappointed. I left the place in hindrance. There was food arranged and my friend tried to cheer me up. We, hostellers, become normal after good food. I recovered quickly, bid him good bye and headed towards my hostel. The road was empty. I was the only one walking. Few seconds later, I saw a girl walking on the same road. She was coming opposite to me and as she neared, I was shocked. She was my crush. Somewhere inside, a panic button was already pressed. Since no one was around, I thought that might be the best chance to talk to her. RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME.

What should I say?  Hey, you look pretty in that dress. I had practiced this a hundred times as a template for any starting conversations. My hands started to sweat. The boy who just had biriyani felt too weak to even stand. I slowed down and decided to go for it no matter what. The next thing that happened is a complete mess up. Here’s what happened.

I stopped in front of her.
She looked surprised and even she stopped.
I smiled at her.
She smiled at me.
Then I walked away as if I had accidently bumped on to her.
She walked away too.

I didn’t turn back. I walked even faster, reached my room. Jumped up and down, screamed like I had achieved something big. That’s what normal people do after a girl had said yes to their proposal. I beg to differ from them. Since that day, it’s still the same old story. That’s the closest I ever got to her. I think about that incident and interpolate & extrapolate all the possibilities. There is little regret. The only thing that keeps me hopeful is the saying “someday I’ll find my yellow umbrella”.

When we returned after the break, he asked each one of us to tell one thing that we had learnt from his previous session. I stood up and said “to be successful, you have to be at the right place at the right time”.

Share your “right place at right time” moment in the comment section. Would love to read

Places, Regrets, and Reasons

In our life, we visit so many places. Some places which you only see only though the window while travelling, places where you might have stopped for a while. You don’t notice much change in them through the years because you don’t remember the details.  But there are few places, where you spend most of your time. For me, there are three places which define me. My village- where I grew up and still live. Navodaya – boarding school where I studied from 6th to 12th. Mandya- where I am pursuing my engineering.

Since I am on vacation, I get a lot of free time ponder and write blogs on countless topics. After this vacation, there are 6 months of uphill struggle, projects, seminars, presentations, contests and then PHEW. I will be leaving the place. So it got me thinking, what will I be missing?

This question took me back to the day I entered, and then few early days, new faces, the second year, entering my department, my struggles in handling new responsibilities, and another year and another one. Turns out, except for few moments of sheer joy, some upsetting slaps at face and my best friends, there is nothing else I can I think of.

Four years and there is nothing I will miss from this place. There are several reasons. For starters I was b a complete nerdy ass the whole time. My routine was indeed “strange” to others. I always missed break fasts, went late to class without caring about my hairstyle, sat in first bench and asked doubts in the middle. When classes got over, I left early. But most of my classmates remained and chit chatted. Students here walk in groups and I walked alone. Not a “fun” guy. Nothing impressed or interested me. In tours I was shy to dance, in cultural programs I updated my apps from free Wi-Fi. I didn’t socialize much.  

Enough for any person to call me weirdo but I did all this for a reason. I had a goal and until I reached my destination, I had decided to stay discreet as much as possible. Now that I have achieved what I dreamt of, I will try to be “cool”. Maybe some miracle can happen in 6 months. That is some big amount of time rite? I will not regret if nothing happens, I will still be happy. I got over 100 followers in WordPress, I will count this as first big thing, and move on to next semester where February 14 awaits, who knows, I might get lucky.