Of Pastas and Kisses.

They locked their hands, Unsure of the future, Looking into each other’s eyes, Making Promises.

I just sat there, Eating Pasta, Wondering when will my Cranberry shake arrive. 

They kissed in between when I was checking notification on my phone. Little Pecks. Gentle ones. Just the perfect amount that summarized the whole saga so far.

I just sat there figuring out how to use a fork and a knife to cut chicken. It is tougher than you think. I’ll be judged on my ability to use them when I hang out with FORMAL friends. I figured out but by that time, I had spilled enough on my pants that would attract suspicious looks. 

They were afraid of separation. The distance that keeps them thousands mile away and why she would not let him go back. Tears were lining up for their encore.

Man, were those pasta, really from Italy? Because they tasted like gut. Food is the only good thing happening and even that started to suck. Fuck Pasta. I’m gonna eat chicken. 

They noticed that I was very quiet. He turned to me and said, dude, don’t get into relationships. You’ll get stuck. She turned and said the same but with a different reason that I’ll miss the things which I could do now. They fought. They fought over the fact that their both reasons were different. I took his side and she became angry.

Boy Oh, Boy. How to use a fork and a knife was much easier. They get along. one cuts the chicken, other holds it. How to get back these two love birds to normal was tougher. I was sweating. When I’m nervous or panicking, I crack jokes. I cracked one. They didn’t laugh. 

She kept punching his arms and he pretended that he was hurt. Oh baby, did I hurt you?. They were back again.

My phone’s battery died and I needed a flying broomstick. 

Because, If I am gonna sit in that restaurant alone till they finish kissings, chit chats, I love you’s and I miss you’s, I needed a Thing. Like you know, a hook. 

Like that guy Alan from Two and Half men who makes fun of himself. 

So I figured out, I’ll be ‘crazy man with a flying broomstick’. Then I’ll buy six more broomsticks and say they are for my imaginary friends. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run. ‘RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY BROOMSTICK MAN’ THEY’LL SHOUT.” 

We finished our food and left the place. He lifted her. He kissed her on the forehead and said goodbye, till he meets her the next time. I gave him bro hug and he left.

I missed him like I missed Clippy.

You remember Clippy?

This is Clippy.

 

clippy

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Two weird things.

If Omens were right, I shouldn’t be telling you this story but I am going to take my chances. My blog is already is a mixture of all types of emotions and why not add the weird factor into it.

It is going to be cool if you’re an open minded person but a serious hurdle if you are not. On either case, go ahead. Life is short. Don’t be shy.

It is Saturday. For this day, you wait an entire week thinking I’m going to be relieved by all the stress. I’m going to spend it in such a posh manner that it is going to be on my DP. Too much build up for one single day that everything crashes down to everlasting boredom. The same thing happened to me.

Until I called my friend at 6 pm to ask how her day went.

Weird Conversation 1:

“Hey, Good evening. What’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m just staying in my room”. She Said.
“What did you do all day?”
“I had sex with an Ostrich”
“You had what with what?” I was as shocked as you are right now.
“It was a one-time thing. An Ostrich fucked me”

She must be definitely kidding. I was just blown away by how did that thought even came to her my mind. I think of wild things too and yes it has definitely landed me to some craziest porn sites but this imagination of her was way ahead and creative than mine.

“So how did you guys do it?” I was curious. My head was already boggled.

“It was on top of me. It did the moving. I was under the big Ostrich. It was tough in the beginning but it all worked out very well in the end.” She said as if it had actually happened.

“Cut the crap idiot. I’m gonna call you an Ostrich Fucker from now on” I said. I cut the call.

Weird Conversation 2:

My friend was having dinner and I had just finished my food. I was looking into a big mirror. My hair looked kinda messy.

“I should probably get a haircut tomorrow,” I said.

“Are you serious? If I had hair like yours I would never do that” He said.

“Hairs are the worst thing that has happened to men. Women have periods and we have hairs growing all over our face. I just hate them” I said.

“So you’d rather bleed? Is that how much you hate shaving or getting your hair cut?”. He asked.

“Eww. Stop it. The problem with my hair is that when I wash it cleanly and go to the office, people ask me, hey, did you wake and just came to office. But when I don’t wash it and when I don’t take the shower, the same people say you look good today!” I almost cried.

“Leave it. It looks good on you and there is another reason why hairs should not be removed”. He said.

People say all kinds of stuff but I heard next was the craziest shit. It made me remove the charger off my phone and leave the room for a while.

“What are you even telling?”. I wore a confused expression.

“Were you sleeping in biology classes? Anyway, I have read that Ancient blah blah blah tells that hairs are the key to good sex life. The more hairs you have, the more you are going to enjoy it. Trust me, it is proven.” He said it in a normal tone. He was not sensing the aura that surrounded me.

He went on.

“If you remove your hair from any part of you body, you are going to lose the most important thing – Sensitivity. That is the essential part of the fore play”.He stopped as I grabbed my jaws from the floor, closed the door behind and left the place.

The Versatile Blogger Award.

I don’t believe in coincidences. There, I said it. I always say boo whenever someone tells me things like “My crush is wearing Grey today. I am wearing Grey too. What a coincidence!!”. Nah! I don’t buy it.

While I acted as if a shooting star had just crashed on my laptop and I had something new to write about, she went on jumping and punching my arms. Elated.

I did the math.

Why did I study Probability? Hmm. To compute the probability of a tall hunk (out of 600+ male employees) wearing a color that is Grey (Lame and out of 10 million set of colors we can see) and also a nice young lady (out of 600+ female employees) wearing the same color.

Wait. This is rare. The probability is so small. I was shocked. Can I call this a “small coincidence”. (“Big Coincidence” being me and Neil DeGrasse Tyson tweeting the same thing.)

Then it hit me. She has his number. They might have talked about wearing the same color.

Coincidence = Hokum.

I was delighted and surprised to have been nominated for “The Versatile Blogger Award” by Reshma and Aishwariya . Coincidence?Thanks for reminding my blog out of hundreds you might have visited. This is a great start to 2016 and these are the little things that give me so much of joy.

Reshma is thoughtful, patient and she writes in a pace that can make you relate to every line she writes. Aishwariya, on the other hand, is a coder and a down to earth person who is passionate about writing. Please visit their blog and once you do, I know, you wouldn’t stop until you finish reading all their posts.

What is The Versatile Blogger Award?

The Versatile Blogger Award is given in recognition for the great commitment, diverse talents and generosity shown by bloggers here in our community. There is so much creativity on the show that it is difficult to reduce a list to only a few, but for those nominated it is hoped that it will serve to motivate them as well as celebrate their work till date.

The rules:

  • Nominate at least 15 blogs of your choice.
  • Link your nominees and let them know of your nomination.
  • Share seven different facts about yourself.

So here I go…

7 Facts About Me:

  1. I love to eat till I am 300% full, once in a month. I don’t ever miss doing this. It is strictly followed by a random physical exercise regretting why did I eat so much.
  2. I love Books and Blogs. I read whenever I am not talking to a person. Reading makes me feel how less I know and talking to some people make me feel how less they know.
  3. I make my own theories. I have my own explanation to why things happen the way they happen. They are logical too if you agree to my previous theories.
  4. I write down everything because I forget often. My to do list will have silliest things like “Buy a face wash” “Buy a shampoo”. Any normal Person would write only “Buy a face wash” and just that one thing would be enough to remind him of the other things like shampoo, toothpaste etc. But not me.
  5. I have a fear of heights. The reason I have not reached one.
  6. I sleep a lot. 12 hours on weekends. Out of which 1 hour goes in search of the sleep and wondering when will I sleep.
  7. I am not pompous. I try not to be.

Sigh.

I would like to pass this award on to these lovely bloggers who I have discovered recently. They truly deserve this.

  1. https://sanghamitrachakrabarty.wordpress.com/
  2. https://buddhuaamaadmi.wordpress.com/
  3. https://nimitode.wordpress.com/
  4. https://mamtadagar1896.wordpress.com/
  5. https://srishtiwalia.wordpress.com/
  6. https://vaayadipennu.wordpress.com/
  7. https://literatureismyporn.wordpress.com/
  8. http://thebikinibookworm.com/
  9. https://saharaina.wordpress.com/
  10. http://richardankers.com/
  11. https://hurtafew.wordpress.com/
  12. https://poemhobby.wordpress.com/
  13. https://rahulyn.wordpress.com/
  14. https://theamusedmind.wordpress.com/
  15. https://notionlux.wordpress.com/

 

1/1/2016

 

You know What? I’m So happy today!

You know Why? Because I could fuck up dd/mm format and you wouldn’t know it.

I’m working in my office today, Yeah, You heard me right.

Hari called me to wish today.

“Hey bro, Happy new year!!!!!!” He wished.

“Happy Birthday Dude!” I wished at the same time as he did.

“It’s not my birthday today”. He was confused.

“I’m sorry, I’m too stupid, Happy new year bro. It’s the third time I’m wishing someone Happy birthday instead of Happy new year. Anyway, Happy new year bro”. I said, disgusted.

“Man, I tell ya, We had a party, we danced, drank and I don’t remember the rest but It was Legendary bro!!” He said.

“Wow, That is soo cool”.

“What did you do bro” He asked me.

“I took a shower, I went to a temple and now I am in Office”. I said.

“Whaat, That is all you did? Don’t you bathe everyday? What unforgettable and special about that?”

“Hello, you drink every week. you dance when you are drunk. So Except if your friends were not from ISIS, I cannot consider your new year bash as Legendary”. I said.

“Dude, Come on, It’s 1/1/2016/. It’s gonna be in my memory forever because this day doesn’t repeat! Ever.” His Justification.

“Then the Shower I’ll take on 2/1/2016 is gonna be special too coz tomorrow doesn’t repeat! Ever”. I said just waiting for him to fall into a trap that I was setting.

“Listen. Today marks the start of a new year”. He was annoyed.

“What about the other 364 who are just as important as today and constitute 2016. You just celebrate one day say it’s special and interesting? What is gonna change in one day except the calendar? Don’t even get me started on the Interesting day paradox”

All days are interesting. The proof is by contradiction: if there exists a non-empty set of uninteresting days, there would be a oldest uninteresting day – but the oldest uninteresting day is itself interesting because it is the oldest uninteresting day, producing a contradiction.

“Woah! I didn’t understand a thing. It all went over my head but yeah, You may be correct. You’re still into maths, writing and stuff and I am into drinking, road trips and stuffs. Years change but this taste of Heineken doesn’t. Although, You know what I can suggest, try to be less Sarcastic in 2016 bro”.

“Ya Sure” I said.

“Now, Was that sarcastic?” He asked.

“No. It was not” I giggled.

“I don’t wanna get into “The sarcastic paradox”, So bye, Have a great year”

“You too”.

I hung up.

So Happy New Year Everyone!

Not Everyone, Just the ones who are reading this, My readers and fellow bloggers. Because it is You, who make me sit down in front of this myriad years old computer and type my heart out. Have a great year and make good memories in 2016 that you’re actually gonna remember on, I don’t know, DEC 2016.

 

 

 

 

The Wait!

 

A void engulfed the Chambers,

All four of them

Hurting and healing at the same time

The head bent low, down,

Staring at the random thing

Thinking, why am I not thinking about anything?

It longed for confusions!

 

I was facing consequences

Of not knowing

What the size of space and

Longevity of Time is.

Space and the gap it crates

Time and the bridges it collapses

A lot to contemplate

A lot to swallow

 

Unswerving I stayed

For I knew,

I could prove Space and Time wrong

I could vanquish

If I showed them

That we have grown to be the same

Through incalculable span in time

That we have fought to be together

Though we are miles apart in Space

 

I had reached,

Well before

Waiting for the light to fall

On a heavenly existence that is she,

And radiate

Glaring rays that could burnish

The ever so dull volume bounding me

 

The song had stopped

It was just a mute earphone

The book had been closed

Only a crafted cover on a cuboid

The table was empty

Just a cold glass balanced on 4 invisible legs

And quiet me,

With earphones, holding a book

And tapping legs nervously under the table.

 

It seemed that

The wait was long,

As long as the time itself

That It kept stretching

To check my patience

The wait tarried

My nemesis,

Since I last saw her.

 

But when she came

Through the portal

Every event that led

To this point in space-time

Made sense

Was meaningful

And was worth the wait!

Pouring it Out.

I strongly believe that I have not been too Candid in my blogs. I say things and then just put some imaginative stuffs to make them sound fancy. So here I am, in this simple and plain post telling you about my life.

I started college with a shite understanding of what college meant. I hardly knew the spelling. Collage or College? eh. when I joined,  I was told that if I took care of writing exams and scoring good, everything will eventually fall into pieces. I believed in the same idea and confined myself around the feeling less species called books. I never studied from xerox and I just loved purchasing books and reading every line like a nerd.

I enjoyed it because I was doing what I believed that would make a successful person. Ultimately everyone wants a successful ending and a perfect life. I somehow felt that I was doing just the right thing.

Then I met this guy who was incredibly intelligent in all the technology aspects. It just surprised me how different we were, being of the same age. I eventually became jealous of his immense knowledge and realized all the bookish concepts are bullshit if I didn’t know where exactly they were used.

We became friends. Then we became best buddies. We bought the same phone. When I held the phone and talked to him about it’s specifications, our discussion involved so many words that you don’t find in textbooks. He would learn something new and used to tell it instantly. These little things amazed me.

I wanted to learn more. When my friends were getting drunk and getting laid, I was surfing theverge.com and was having knowledge-gasm.

In the beginning, I used to stay away from hangouts and night outs. Later, I was left out. This didn’t sadden me, instead I dug too deep to find more.

A year later, I became desperate for a job. Getting a job meant success then. I got one and someone finally had found me useful. I had done it. So I left college thinking that all my struggles are over.

So 4 years of uphill struggle and from now on, it’ll all be smooth I thought. I’ve had enough of mugging, copying, writing exams and stalking my crush like a creep.

When I started working, here’s how my life went.

1st Week : Hell yea, I’m a professional. Look at all the smart people here.

2nd Week: Wait, This is something new. Something fun.

3rd Week: This isn’t what I studied or read. But I’m learning something cool.

4th week : Fuck knowledge, Fuck being desperate for money. I got my first salary, so Middle finger to growth and doing what you love.

5th Week : Oh no, This isn’t what I ordered.

6th Week : Is there a reverse button to my life somewhere. I just wanna go few months back.

2nd Month : What Am I doing?

3rd month : Why Am I still doing?

I broke down. It was all just too hard to accept. May be I had set bars too high for myself. I had over thought and dreamed of fantasies. Life was taking it’s toll. I just couldn’t breathe.

I was walking down the lane and just collapsed. I just sat and watched people go by, the vehicles and the city life. Rahul called me and asked why I wasn’t in the PG yet. I told him i’m on my way and continued staying in a state of reverie. I was stressed the whole time. I tried to be ubiquitous studying for other exams, joining a course and acting in a short film. I threw my hands at everything.

All this attempts lead me nowhere. While I was trying too much, thinking too much and planning too much, Life happened. I gave up everything because I couldn’t change it. I had lost it. I didn’t know what I was doing.

Some more days passed. I started writing a Journal. I read blogs and lots and lots of books. I even wrote more on my blog. I made friends. I went out and had good food. All these little things finally made me to settle mentally and not worry too much at this time.

I slowed down. I got adjusted to the pace of the universe.

I am still doing the same job but I don’t know if everything i did for last 4 years  4 moths make sense or not, but I am content. I am in love with present tense 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Droplets and Thoughts

They stood still like they were cautious that everything might collapse. They were holding onto something which only a poet or an artist can understand. No one around them made a sound. They would fall any minute. I knew, but I simply watched them play their part. I had woken up and it had rained heavily. Looked like everything was repainted for something new.

Through the window, I looked at the streets. The window had been washed and was clean as a crystal with some water drops caught in a web. Oh the drops of water. Did the rain gods scattered you on what they thought was a Cartesian plane? Because I think you have been eclectically sprinkled on this glass sheet so as to capture your fall.

As I breathed through my mouth, the window glass became a unfathomable mystery. A moment later, the glass was Lucid again. The breathing duties were shifted back to my nose. It was very calm. The bus danced through Indian roads but their ability to stand still was uncanny.

I started to count. 23 water droplets stuck on a 2D plane. Not aware of any chaos around. After I got in the bus, I was very angry at myself for not bringing an earphone. There was no network signal to even chat or call. May be it had to be like that. Me going on a journey from office to a better place. And most importantly, spending time with myself.

Watching these droplets was the only thing I did. Many villages passed behind the glass but my gaze was constant. Can I connect myself to them? Do they know they’re being watched? 

A sudden break was applied and the drops moved down few centimeters. They followed a similar pattern as if they all had decided, they would all go down together. It was peaceful. Minutes later, I was feeling less anxious. I was wondering whether my thoughts could be like them. Undisturbed.

I started to speak to them. I felt weird and stupid. But I knew they were listening. My thoughts were parallel with the droplets but on a different plane. They were still too. I wished they stayed the same. I smiled and saw my face distorted in each of the droplets. I had studied in Physics why they tend to have a spherical shape but laughed again because frankly, I didn’t understand a thing about surface tension. The surface tension in my mind was momentarily gone and I was just happy about that.

Then came a Juggernaut of a water drop out of nowhere and rolled right through the middle of this abstract canvas and what remained was just the debris. The new picture made no sense to me as the previous beauty did. I opened the window and my village was near. My thought which were still now went back to being squandered and a recondite analogy was just evidenced stronger.